
This blog is inspired by the insights of an experienced teacher who has worked in education for 26 years and is also a parent to neurodivergent children with autism and ADHD. Their reflections highlight the daily struggles that so many families face, as well as the gaps that exist in how mainstream schools support neurodivergent students. If you’re a parent finding that your child is struggling, despite being told that their needs can be met, the following insights may help you advocate for better support.
The Core Issue: An Incompatible Environment
Why are so many neurodivergent children unable to thrive in the mainstream education system? The answer often lies in the fundamental mismatch between their needs and the structure of the current educational environment. Many schools are still built around “ableist” expectations, measuring all children against neurotypical standards. This can be incredibly challenging for autistic and ADHD students, who often require a different approach altogether.
Instead of trying to force these children into a one-size-fits-all system, we need to rethink how we can support them to truly flourish. Here are some key needs that are often overlooked in mainstream settings, as identified by the teacher whose experiences inspired this post:
Celebrating Strengths, Not Forcing Neurotypical Standards
Neurodivergent children often have exceptional strengths—whether that’s creativity, intense focus, or innovative thinking. Yet, these strengths can go unnoticed or undervalued when children are constantly judged against neurotypical benchmarks. Schools should focus on recognising and celebrating these abilities rather than viewing them as deviations that need to be “fixed.”
True Understanding from Educators
A genuine understanding of neurodiversity is crucial. It’s not enough for staff to have attended a training session; real empathy often comes from personal experience. Teachers who are neurodivergent themselves or have neurodivergent family members often bring a deeper level of compassion and insight to the classroom.
Smaller, Calmer Learning Environments
Sensory overload is a common challenge for many neurodivergent children. Busy, noisy classrooms can make it nearly impossible for them to concentrate. A smaller, quieter setting with fewer distractions can help reduce anxiety and create a space more conducive to learning.
Consistent Routines
Neurodivergent children often rely on consistent routines to feel secure. Sudden changes to schedules, teachers, or classrooms can be extremely distressing. A stable, predictable environment can make a huge difference in reducing their anxiety.
Flexible Curriculum Options
Mainstream curricula can be rigid, which isn’t always suitable for neurodivergent students. For example, some autistic children may find oral presentations or group projects overwhelming. Schools should offer alternatives, allowing these students to demonstrate their knowledge in ways that work for them.
Individualised Support and Close Guidance
Small group or one-on-one sessions with a tutor can provide the focused support that many neurodivergent children need. Having an adult guide who can offer personalised attention helps create a sense of safety and makes learning feel more manageable.
A Relational, Not Punitive, Approach
Behavioural systems that rely on rewards and punishments often miss the mark for neurodivergent children. Instead, building trusting relationships where students feel understood can be far more effective. It’s about connection, not control.
Allowing for Self-Regulation
Children with neurodivergent conditions often need ways to regulate themselves, whether that’s through movement, using fidget toys, listening to music, or wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Denying them these tools can increase stress and make it harder for them to engage in learning.
Less Pressure, More Focus on Learning
Mainstream schools often include a lot of extra activities—assemblies, residential trips, etc.—that can be overwhelming for neurodivergent students. Stripping back to focus on core learning in a quieter, less pressured environment can significantly improve their well-being and engagement.
Access to Better Support Needs to Be Easier
While some schools and centres have embraced these approaches, providing environments that are more supportive of neurodivergent students, they are still rare. Often, parents have to fight for access to these resources, usually through a lengthy and exhausting process of obtaining an Education, Health, and Care Plan (EHCP). It’s disheartening that the current system requires parents to battle for the appropriate support their children deserve.
There’s a broader issue here: the belief that the solution to the SEND crisis is simply “better management” within schools. But this misses the point entirely. The problem isn’t just about management; it’s about transforming the environment and expectations so that neurodivergent children can truly thrive.
Every child deserves an education that respects their individuality and supports their strengths. If your child is struggling, don’t hesitate to challenge the school’s approach. Advocate for what your child truly needs—it might be the difference between just getting by and truly flourishing.
😊 A Smile and a Thought 🤔
I asked my neurodivergent child how their day at school went. They said, 'It’s like a group project that I didn’t sign up for, but somehow I’m responsible for everything.' At least their humour is thriving!
“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.” - William Butler Yeats
Comments